Righteous

Let it all go before it destroys your soul. Cleanse the mind so that your body can grow. The connection runs deeper than you’ll ever know, that’s why it’s important to take control. Toxic situations should not be allowed to grow and negative people really have to go. Quiet the mind, and realise this may take some time. Listen to your body and start to treat it right. Nurture your soul and repair any damage. Mind, body and soul all have to be managed. Be true to yourself and don’t bow down to anyone else. Be unapologetically beautiful but don’t ever boast, remain humble and true because it’s the right thing to do. Respect the people who show you they care, be kind and compassionate to those beyond repair. Learn to truly love the person you are and know if you can do this you will go far.

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Today’s thoughts and feelings

The peace of mind I feel today is truly amazing. I know what I must do in order to find happiness and with this comes a great sense of satisfaction.

Peace, serenity, self-love and personal growth. I don’t think I have smiled this much in a long time. I’m learning to let go of the past and to minimise unwise decisions. Mistakes are allowed to be made as long as I learn from them. Love will find me in due time. People come and go and I’m okay with that. Some may remain in my heart but not in my life. Respect, loyalty and honesty are essentials for me.

#feeling free

 

Maze life…

So many different paths and endless possibilities. The one thought on my mind is being free. I run, walk and even crawl through the maze. Wondering if this is where I will spend all of my days. My mind is a cloudy haze but determination clears the mist. While I crawl I know there is more to life than this. I must exit the maze although at times it seems impossible. My spirit will not be crushed because I am unstoppable. I rise to my feet refusing to accept defeat. I will not quit I don’t have it in me! The walls are so high but I’m not intimidated. I don’t need to be rescued, myself I am saving. I’m challenging the maze and calling it’s bluff. In my mind I am Arnold Schwarzenegger tough. I am missing my home, family and friends. I can’t perish without ever seeing them again. So many thoughts when all I have is time. This maze is really screwing up my mind. Every tiny detail imprinted in my thoughts, I process and question if I have seen it before? Endless attempts to exit this maze, I do not accept that this is my fate. I won’t slowly go insane and eventually quit. I can’t die in here alone having never lived. So much I want to do, so much I haven’t said. I wake up in cold sweats and realise the maze is in my head…

© COPYRIGHT 2015.CNI.RILEY ENGLAND.ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Darkness

Stay away from the darkness he told me. It will burn you like fire he said. He warned me that it would consume me. Right down to my very last breath. He promised my heart would be stolen and my mind would become overwhelmed. I wish I had heeded his warnings and I could have avoided this hell.

Do not trust the darkness he shouted. He cried and he pleaded with me. I was foolish and I did not realise he was simply trying to  protect me. I thought that I knew better than he did. Slowly I let the darkness creep in. To my horror and disgust I had misplaced my trust and I was hurt when it snuffed out the light. Not a single Ray left in my life. I asked myself why? All of the time.

You trusted the darkness he whispered. It showed and I could not deny it. Next time with a matter of my heart I won’t be so damn defiant.

Ramblings of a decaying mind…

I’ve been sleepwalking in the day time, daydreaming in my mind, ignoring all of the vital signs, refusing to pay attention, to the falling nation, totally unaware, of the world’s current affairs, too much poverty and destruction, murder, rape and corruption, greed and insanity, all assassinating humanity. I stopped watching and waiting for things to change, I couldn’t deal with all of the pain, the sadness is too much for me to comprehend, it’s much easier if I just pretend, that I don’t see, speak or hear anything at all, and yes I’m aware I live in denial, I am all out of options unfortunately, so this is the last resort for me, back to sleepwalking in the day, and being oblivious to all the pain, daydreaming in reality, this routine is slowly changing me. Numbing my thoughts, closing my open mind, constantly telling myself that everything will be fine…

© COPYRIGHT 2015.CNI.RILEY ENGLAND.ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

 

Sweet nothings in my ear

you whispered ‘sweet nothings’ into my ear.

You intrigued me and then disappeared.

I had high hopes and expectations.

So mysterious that my mind is still vacant.

With thoughts of you and what you’re like.

It doesn’t matter as I am not Mrs Right.

Soon I will forget you and all of your sweet words.

I will pretend they were never even heard.

I will still smile to myself when I think of you.

‘Sweet nothings’ you can keep they are so not cool.

© COPYRIGHT 2015.CNI.RILEY ENGLAND.ALL RIGHTS RESERVED